There are all kinds of complexities about me… all these revolving parts. I dream and sing, I doubt and cry. I am a sister, a coworker, a friend. I get afraid that people, only viewing one portion of me, will be disappointed that the whole is not as beautiful or as complex or as intentional as they can see from their vantage point.
But, I’m me. I am who I am — highlight reel and pockets of shame all mashed into one whole. And I am crazy thankful for the truth that’s been shoved in my face the past few days — that my complex wholeness is ok. As long as I live, I will continue to let people down and need grace. I will be used in the kingdom and get to be a part of crazy beautiful things. Praise God.
This week a dream came true for me. A big part of me is this worship part — the part that wants to seek God’s face with His people and draw nearer to His heart. And there’s a job at my church in Worship Arts that I’ve been dreaming of for years (I’ve been doing some of it part time for a year or so but now get to do full time) that has been offered to me.
Dreams come true. Not because we’re perfect and get every pocket of our lives figured out, but because our God is good and merciful and loving and big and strange and different. And He gives good gifts to His kids. And I’m crazy thankful. It’s not going to be perfect… I’ll let people down, they’ll let me down. I’m guaranteed to still get crabby or overwhelmed, because, well… I am still me. But I get to continue to be part of a community of other broken people seeking God’s face together. I am excited.